There are several funny quotes to live by that will make life more pleasant. Enjoy 
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I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
~Stephen Fry
I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.
~Samuel Goldwyn
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
~Mitch Hedberg
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
~Woody Allen
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
~Frank Sinatra
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
~Rodney Dangerfield
I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.
~Arnold Schwarzenegger
I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.
~Charles M. Schulz
I have never been hurt by what I have not said.
~Calvin Coolidge
