I’d never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.
~Mercedes McCambridge
I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.
~Carl Sandburg
I’m kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.
~James Brown
I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
~Will Rogers
I’m undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.
~Hillary Clinton
I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me.
~Elayne Boosler
If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor.
~Joan Rivers
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
~Mel Brooks
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
~Lily Tomlin
If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.
~Woody Allen
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
~Lily Tomlin
