Short Funny Quotes

When I go to a bar, I don’t go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.
~David Brenner

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
~George Burns

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.
~Albert Einstein

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
~Benjamin Franklin

You’re only as good as your last haircut.
~Fran Lebowitz

I have taught elementary school for many years and have also worked as a substitute teacher. I enjoy being in the classroom and working with students. I know that teachers are always looking for different and innovative ways to help to motivate their kids. This has given me the opportunity to be in many different classrooms on every grade level and one thing that I have noticed in most classrooms is that many teachers post funny quotes around their rooms hoping to spark their students’ interests and keep them motivated to do their best work.
Many of these quotes deal with the simple ideas of Motivation, inspiration, truth and success. I thought that I might share some of the inspiring quotes that I have seen posted in some teachers classrooms.

Leaders are dealer in hope. –Napoleon

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there – Will Rogers

A firm foundation is built with the bricks of knowledge that others throw at you – David Brinkley

Opportunity is missed by most people, because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work –Thomas Edison

Constant complaint is the poorest sort of pay for all of the comforts we enjoy –Ben Franklin

We have two ears and one tongue in order to hear more and speak less – Diagenes

We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them – William Ward

True faith and courage are like a kite – and opposing wind raises it higher –author unknown

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. – Charles Swindoll

When the outlook is bad, try to look up – author unknown

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything – Mark Twain

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example – Mark Twain

The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed – Lloyd Jones

If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend six hours sharpening my axe – Abraham Lincoln

I never failed once. It just happened to be a 2000 step process – Thomas Edison

Every strike brings me closer to the next home run – Babe Ruth

While I have found these quotes to be uplifting and fun, I have often found other types of inspiring quotes in the teachers lounge.
For example…
We, the unwilling, led by the unqualified, have been doing the unbelievable for so long with so little, that we must now attempt to do the impossible with nothing.
I hope that these funny quotes have inspired, entertained and enlightened you. Short and funny should they be because short funny quotes are remembered easyly and can be told on a birthday. You can lough with your friends about them and enjoy the time with the people you love the most. Like inspirational quotes they will make your life better every day!